This is an article about the Ego. Having read a lot and observed myself closely, I now feel ready to comment on this topic which I believe a lot of people should be interested in, if they are not already…
Well, my interest started as a result of a crisis year where I had a number of interpersonal interactions which were, to say the least, negative. A number of negative experiences led me to look for peace and a solution to these problems.
Solutions were slow to emerge: it seemed that no matter how I said something, it was always the wrong thing.
I’m still not sure it’s a “solution”…but anyway. I visited a friend who introduced me to books by Eckhart Tolle. There is nothing special about him, except that he writes and talks well…but I think I understood because of my need to understand. So, what he says basically is to detach yourself from your ego. What is an ego? Well, I understood it best with examples: ego is what you identify with, it is your story. It is your past, your future. Not your present.
Ego is what separates you from everyone else, it is what makes you superior or inferior to anyone else. It is what prevents you from enjoying the present, and primarily it is that which causes superficial un-winnable conflicts with others. It prevents you from being your authentic self. Even writing this blog, is a way for my ego to feel superior in my understanding…!
So now, how does one get rid of the ego? Apparently the first step is simply to recognise when it is used. I acknowledge that my ego is making me write this blog…that this is not “me”. I am being “present” in that I am aware of the ego.
So, who am I? I am the presence that is aware of the ego.
Actually, when you are ready for this understanding I find that it works. Its practical and simple and it totally works!
Other interesting insights from Tolle’s books: when there is a situation you can control, you should either enjoy it, and if you cannot enjoy it, accept it. If you cannot accept it, then stop doing it. And then he talks of the “pain body” which all of us are born with. Some people have a more active pain body than others. The pain body is an organism that lives inside you and is built up of all the past hurts thar civilization has imposed on itself and it consists of your own past emotional pain. Whenever you are repeating a pattern that you are comfortable with, the pain body gets excited, and active….basically it wakes up and feeds on new pain, and can completely take over your personality. You become a slave to it and start reacting in ways that reinforce the pain…how do you escape? Again, first step is to be aware that this is the pain body, to be able to laugh at it and understand whats happening…to react in an authentic way. To observe the pain in a detached way and understand where it comes from and to then give yourself the permission to feel the pain without reacting..
The beauty of his books is that the advice sounds very abstract but the advice is really very practical…
