How many of you have seen this beautiful VW advertisement?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/video/2008/dec/22/advertising-volkswagen
It took me a while to realize that its really quite insightful...most of the time we spend
criticizing ourselves and kicking ourselves...in fact I do it so much that many days I end up exhausted with the effort of trying to find excuses for my behaviour and just give up and escape to some passive activity where I cant "fail" (by my own standards).
Here is what "Psychology Today" tells us:
"We can observe this voice at work in various areas of our lives; it tells us not to get too close in our relationships or go too far in our careers. These thoughts can be cruel and berating: Who do you think you are? You'll never succeed. You're not like everyone else. No one will ever care about you. These thoughts can also be deceptively calm and soothing: You're just fine on your own. The only person you can rely on is yourself. You should reward yourself with one more piece of cake. Just have one last drink; it will make you feel better."
Clearly the way we cope with our critical inner voice is really important for interactions and success in the world. I find for example that when this voice is very strong you can see it reflected in the choices people make. People who give in to their own criticisms will tend to choose "friends" who confirm these criticisms. They will tend to underperform in work, confirming what their inner voice keeps on telling them. They will deliberately limit their effort so they can avoid the hurtful feelings of the voice which tells them they have no ability anyway...and so on. In fact a new branch of economics aims to tackle the question of how "identity" influences important decisions.
"Identity Economics bridges a critical gap in the social sciences. It brings identity and norms to economics. People's notions of what is proper, and what is forbidden, and for whom, are fundamental to how hard they work, and how they learn, spend, and save. Thus people's identity--their conception of who they are, and of who they choose to be--may be the most important factor affecting their economic lives. And the limits placed by society on people's identity can also be crucial determinants of their economic well-being."(Kranton and Akerlof's book "Identity Economics")
If identity has to do with a notion of who we are - what is our "correct" level in the workplace and in choice of partners - it would explain why people overwhelmingly do not marry across social class or race in some countries, why ability and effort are highly correlated with high levels of confidence or even "over confidence". Differentiated wages convey a signal to workers of what the employer really thinks about them may destroy morale quite effectively among the less confident workers. When their perception of themselves changes, their performance on the job adjusts to those changes...
